Okay, okay, they didn’t ruin my entire life, just one portion of it. Although I’ve only briefly mentioned my Big Brother obsession in passing prior to this point, I apparently now have yet another reason to detest labor unions and striking workers: Big Brother 9: ‘Til Death Do We Part.
I’d largely avoided Big Brother until last summer when Season 8’s Evil Dick took the nation by storm and proved that honesty, strong game play, and being a huge jerk can all pay off. Well, instead of waiting an entire year (or nine months, or whatever) to once again trap a bunch of 20-somethings in a house and film every second of their lives, CBS was, apparently, forced to rush things as a result of the writer’s strike. Thus Big Brother 9 was thrust upon an unsuspecting world long before it was ready for primetime. Not only is every single person in the house on this season a complete idiot, but it has only been within the last week or three that any of them have actually begun playing the game.
How else can one explain that 40-something Sheila, who hasn’t won a single competition, has managed to make it to the final 5? Sure, at this point everyone wants her to stay because they’re all convinced that she’ll fail to get a single vote from the jury. But puh-lease! It took this crew three weeks to evict a guy that they had brought back into the house after evicting him the first time. And even then the only reason it happened was because the Head of Household “screwed up” and fell for his tears of remorse. Let’s take a quick look at who’s left-
- Adam is listed on the official Big Brother website as being a “Public Relations Manager”. However, internet stories abound about the “non-profit” he does PR for being a scam that was apparently created simply to take advantage of his BB9 notoriety. He’s sitting in that house thinking he’s got big bucks in donations rolling into his website while in reality he may be looking at a much scarier prison when he’s evicted from the luxury one he’s currently residing in.
Having won Head of Household twice in the last 3 weeks he has failed to actually make his own decisions repeatedly. Instead allowing others to run his reign and constantly second guessing every decision forced upon him.
- Sharon was one of the first two people evicted from the house. Why did she get evicted? because she was stupid enough to immediately tell the other houseguests that she knew one of the other players and because her “partner” was a complete moron. The only reason she’s back in the game is because one of the other houseguests had some sort of family emergency and had to leave the house.
Since her return the brain trust known as BB( has somehow decided she’s a major thret despite her slavish (and mindless) devotion to the guy who brought her back in. She even went so far as to volunteer her way onto the eviction block in order to save a guy who repeatedly and regularly threw her under the bus.
- Sheila’s not only an emotional trainwreck, but completely incompetent as well. I mentioned it above, but it worth repeating: this woman has not one a single challenge the entire time she’s been in the house. The only reason she’s even still here is because her keystone cop roommates are too busy bumping into each other to remove the deadweight.
- Natalie, the big breasted bikini barista bimbo from the beaver state has also been recently seen to be a major threat. Does no one see that it was merely her undying (and completely unrequited) obsession for her former partner that spurred her on to recent victories? The only thing this girl drops faster than her bra is anything you tell her to keep secret. Meanwhile she’s become the founding leader of “Team Christ” despite performing sex acts on international television with someone who she’d only known a couple of weeks and refused to do so much as give her a massage. Oh yeah, she’s brilliant.
- Which leaves us with Ryan. Despite being dumb enough to pick a girlfriend who ruined their ace in the hole within 48 hours of entering the house, Ryan’s survived pretty darn well. He’s got a “final two” deal with several remaining members of the house and somehow isn’t really seen as a threat despite his actually playing the game (albeit poorly). He’s definitely my pick to take home the $50,000, but only because there’s not a single other person in the house who seems to be aware of how reality television game shows actually work.
If you can’t keep up with three different nights of Big Brother programming I highly recommend you check out the Big Brother 9 section of RealityTVFan.org. RealityTVFan shares youtube videos of reality television shows and always seems to have the shows up the fastest with the most reliable links.