Jul 132007

WOOD-TV – Grand Rapids, MI

WHITE CLOUD, MI — A Newaygo County man could spend another weekend behind bars if he doesn’t take care of his yard.

David Burch says he tried to seed the yard last fall but it wouldn’t take root. This all stems from a contractor who failed to sod the yard in the first place. Now a judge is saying, do the yard or do the time.

“The people who work at the court, at the jail, thought it was funny,” Burch said. “They said there had to be more. I said, ‘No, it’s just because I don’t have grass growing.’ They said, ‘You’re in here for that?'”

This one’s for all you minarchists out there. Not sure you’re a minarchist? Well, a minarchist agrees that the federal government or “big government” is detrimental to freedom, but that local governments are not only necessary, but beneficial. It’s simply further proof that local government can be just as tyrannical as federal governments and that a police force is just as much a threat as a military.

David Burch was put in jail for the weekend because the grass on his front lawn isn’t growing! Now, you may be thinking that this is about “property values” or that his neighbors are upset that his yard is a mess. Then explain how the following fits that theory:

But when it didn’t grow, a county judge ordered the yard planted. It never happened. Again this April – no sprouts. Then, in jail, an inspiration. Burch is sodding his yard with donated turf.

“He has been working on it,” Ungrey said. “However, he remains to this day noncompliant.”

That is because the backyard must also be green.

(emphasis added)

That’s right, not only must his visible front lawn be planted with attractive green grass, but his back lawn (invisible to all but his guests) must have green grass as well!

If you’re thinki9ng that this was all a mistake, or a joke, then don’t forget to check the last line of the article:

Burch was back in court Thursday. The judge told him he has two weeks to complete the job. If not, it’s another weekend back in jail.

Thank God the government is out there protecting my rights and freedoms by throwing a guy in jail, repeatedly, because he doesn’t have grass in his backyard!

  7 Responses to “Grow Grass or Go To Jail”

  1. […] Philaahzophy. [who uses this as a good {if not a bit silly} jab at the Minarchist […]

  2. […] week I shared the story of David Burch of White Cloud, MI in Grow Grass or Go To Jail. While not directly related, today we bring you the story of Betty Perry, 70, of Orem Utah. From […]

  3. It is great to see that you feel better knowing that our yards are safe from little old lady’s and single fathers who have little time 😛 It really is great that they are being mistreated and thrown in jail over grass…. Yard grass, not weed, peyote or the like, when the lawn police could be catching real criminals!

    Thank you for posting this, I know it has been awhile, but I just stumbled upon it. And I truly believe our government should get a life.

  4. That’s hilarious! I wonder if they’d let him do the Phillipino old man style lava rock/plastic plants yard haha.

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